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17 Jul

Für eine Weile ich habe wollen wissen, was zuerst war, Mann gegen Mann, oder diese:

Und weitere…

And by that I mean this sort of ‘Steroid-BSDM sans Dominatrix, ´-that last one seemingly essential for the bondage or humilliation aspect-. If they’re all strong masters and aspiring females at the same time, but no women are involved whatsoever, does this have similar intentions to the ones behind a football match?

All genius is genetic

6 Ene

It was a documentary, from the Prisma series made by DW-TV.

The struggle of genius kids, according to their mothers everybody envies them: other kids, other moms, and their siblings, but not them, they know it’s hard being a genius (even if they are not one themselves), but also feel proud that their kids have so much potential.

Potential for what?, well they do poorly in school (they already know everything and get bored), have no friends, are incapable of the most basic logical thinking (it’s not that basic or logical to them), and they have lack any sense of how to behave socially.
But, in some way, their IQ tests reveal they are geniuses, so they must be.

Only two kids were interviewed, a boy and a girl, the boy played piano worse than any of those 5 year old child prodigies we all get to see regularly on Youtube, and the girl was studying Japanese; learning kanjies, and being as fluent as somebody who has been taking lessons for less than a year, unfortunately for her she had already been learning for 4 years.

What exactly is people’s fascination with ‘that’ kind of intelligence?, is it because it’s supposed to be linked to superiority?
It is not practical to measure success through the most popular vision of achievement, but it’s still a mystery why so many minds that are said to be superior also lack order, and their work is scarce and not functional.

I forgot if I have mentioned it before, but “Rainman” is one of those cases. People think the guy is gifted because he can remember everything he sees and wobbles like a baby, but he has not been able to connect that information in order to give it a new or different meaning.
He’s like a super developed parakeet, but primitive human being.
And that’s the tragedy of stupidity: Any person who is dumb, slow or deficient can pass for an misunderstood god, specially to their parents.

Turkey bowling

11 Ene

When I was little and suddenly lost appetite in front of a plate full of food my parents would always tell me that I had to try to finish it because it wasn’t right to throw food away, if I still refused they would tell me I wasn’t going to be allowed to eat sweets afterwards and because usually none of that worked they ended up having to eat it themselves.

But some kids had to hear the story of “those starving in Africa” from their parents, I don’t think it made a difference but I’m sure it’s still a popular option.

Never in my life have I been hungry for more than a couple of hours but I have visited some very isolated places where people have never been full. I have spoken to people who eat meat once or twice a year, and not because they don’t eat their friends but because most food is a luxury there. Those people work, every single day of their lives (and I mean EVERY single one), from 5am until 9pm but some don’t ever get paid with money and others are just allowed to live in the land of their “boss” because of said work.

I’m sure a lot of people would never believe how many millions of human being all over the world live in those conditions, so I’m going to give another example that’s easy to understand.

Each year some places in the USA give food to the poor during Thanksgiving or Christmas, they usually give them frozen turkeys so they can cook them however they like but because there have been problems with the economy last year (2008) they gave chickens instead.

Some of those people don’t live on welfare and yet they can’t afford to buy themselves a whole animal for a special occasion, but this post is not to feel sorry for them.

During the first week of January most featured videos in YouTube involved “Turkey Bowling” a “sport” consisting of grabbing the dead animal and throwing it to the floor in order to crash with other food. From the previews it seems this “game” happened mostly inside of stores so nobody really damaged (or left covered in dust and pubes) anything that was theirs.

There are balls, there are bowling balls, there are bowling places and there are dozens of sports, why use food?, do people think the sight is funny because it used to be alive and now it’s dead, frozen, headless and inside a plastic bag?.
I’m not a vegetarian but if you’re not going to eat an animal, why the fuck would you need to play with it?!.

I know some people even buy things only to get them smashed, I know people go to comedy shows to watch food explode, I cannot expect them to respect the work of the kids and adults whose skin and blood has gotten permanently damaged due to inhaling the pesticides when they are harvesting, or to care about the pollution caused by moving around the food from where it was packed to where it will get sold, I know that for them each sweat drop these people produced to make sure they didn’t loose their job gets fully paid with a few cents (how much is an apple and how many people are involved in getting it sold?, do the math) so it would be dumb for me to ask them here to stop being selfish man-babies and use their time and resources in a non-leeching way but, what I can do is hope with all my heart that the economy depression gets so big that no one will be allowed to do something so idiotic again.

Conversion, software version 7.0

5 Jul

An certain image finds its way to most of the world's newspapers headlines. A group of savages found in the Amazons, unaware of any kind of modern civilization and throwing arrows at a helicopter.
Most recent discoveries have proved the image to be quite funny but seriously, wth?!.

Couch potatoes all over made sure their opinion on the Human Zoo Document was known, “OMG! They're so dumb!”, some outstanding philosophers enlightened us in the art of progress, change and general breakthrough events.

“We've made it to the moon and these fags are terrified of an airplane, they're like animals, I bet they would die if they came in contact with us because they're weak”.

Our marvelous way of life, not going into the “filming the moon from a TV studio” fiasco we have less than 100 people who actually made it possible for humans to travel outside this world, what's up with the other billions?, using an airplane or switching the PC on is something any monkey can do, hell, even a dog was sent into space (and returned in such a bad condition that it had to be “put to sleep”), but it must be said that they really put human race to shame, what with their methods of living without producing any garbage, of being able to survive without the knowledge of a gastric bypass or asthma inhalator, their daily activities consisting of being self-sufficient with their food and clothes, pff!, losers.

Can't phantom to live in any way that sends our culture backwards, I refuse to be told science is unnecessary, it's the best time to be alive, our jobs are not physically demanding and we have a lot of free time that we use for our improvement, we have advanced forms of amusement like”The Biggest Loser” and “Cirque du Soleil”, our democracies are strong, we can find out what's going on at the other side of the world with just a click, there's feeders, “”, recreative drugs, pepsi, most things can get cured so we can live long prosperous lives, then there's this thing called “lolcats” that were created by a bunch of teens who bring the lulz by mocking dead people but they're so omg funny, it's this pic of them animals and they put letters like theire talking, the have the greatest punchlines ever, repeated over and over again and mispelled cuz that's like very cool because animals don't talk so you send 'em to friends and your family and my mum sends them to me and mah friends and we also use them for myspace and say hi to ppl && be random kekekeke lol!!!!1!!1111.

Chewing the bottle

14 May

Jamie Lynn Spears was seen weeks after her 17th birthday wearing some lovely yellow platform shoes. She's five (six?) months pregnant and she loves to drive around dressed like she's a 30 year old mother of 8 who lives in a trailer park.

I believe the first of this kind was Christina Aguilera, who posed during her pregnancy for some photos wearing an orange tan and red lipstick; The platinum hair gave her a lovely bukkake-queen-did-something-wrong-but-didn't-notice-until-nine-months-later look, so, what the hell?.

I cannot criticize women for their sense of style or how they enjoy wearing see-through clothes when there's some fetus growing inside their belly, if they want to make preggo porn that's fine too, what shocked me initially is why a person who doesn't need money wants to expose her milk filled breasts to the world, I know some girls can't live a few months without attention, but it seems this is more related to the word “empowering”.

Jamie is a teenager who feels ready to live the next 2 years of her life as if they were 40, fine, but Christina is a 30-something married woman who is sending a message that maternity doesn't take away her “Dirty” personality, she's still a super hot woman and rejecting that side of herself due to motherhood would be like giving up the only thing that makes her modern (different to our grandmothers), she's young and has nothing to be ashamed of, she's in control, sure her vagina was photographed and printed by tabloids everywhere but that was her “contemporary woman very much in charge” decision.

It's a step more in favour of maternity being a minor issue that can easily be sorted with day-care, a grandmother or a nanny, working as a female cook is awesome, cooking for a kid is despicable, being a teacher is honorable, raising a kid is a waste of time, getting a 12 hour job in a factory is admirable, giving more than two hours a day to a child is the perfect way to underestimate the ability of a woman, and if it was the dad?, oh!, single dads are so amazing!.

When there's no real personality, giving up any stereotype is the same as committing suicide.

Fifty ways to kill your lover

15 Abr

I see it almost every week, a guy wants to leave his wife because “he never loved her”.

I find it very difficult to believe that a guy who marries and decides to have kids with a certain woman (or woman with a man) has really no feelings for that person but was distracted when the wedding was planned, when it happened and when they had sex.

This guy in particular had an interesting excuse, destiny reunited him with a long lost love and now he was ready to leave his two kids (3 and 1 years of age), his wife and his home in the name of the greatest love story the universe has ever witnessed.

When he married and when he decided to have a baby (then another one) he wasn’t thinking about this great love, but it was still great oh yes, just not present in his life and when something that we need like oxygen is not around the best we can do is not do other things or try to find it but instead act like we don’t really need that and be happy.

The man expresses he would never be happy, he has however, considered sacrificing his happiness (which consists of living with a certain human being) in the name of his kids, luckily for him somebody showed up and informed him that his parents’ divorce didn’t affect him, he was a happy kid growing up too, so now there was really nothing wrong in divorcing and giving up custody of the kids, they would manage with some good quality time.

Might be selfishness because I really want a pink Hello Kitty convertible, I know I won’t be happy without it, I won’t be a good mother/father to my five kids because all the time my heart will be with that dream, unfair for my partner too, I can’t fully love anyone but the car, the crotch drops will grow, my car never will and the only thing that moves me is the certainty that if I were to have it our happiness would be infinite and my life perfect.

I know that guy will never read this (thus it’s here, he doesn’t need my judgmental opinion either) which is why I’ll add the following: I hope your wife never allows you to see your kids again, takes all of your money and I hope your old flame leaves you very soon after you get married citing as the reason for divorce that you weren’t what she had imagined and that you also have a very very small dick.

The girls, the cup and the finger

22 Ene

Internet phenomena is a term designed to describe something as tangible as paradise lost.

In the never ending chain of useless images comes the moment every person who eats has to live: getting the food out, and that obviously has to be recorded, edited and sold to those who enjoy the humiliating feeling that comes with re-eating, so what?.

It’s slightly beyond me why in the world would I think about it enough to care, why exactly would I want to record or watch other people’s reaction towards something that is part of a natural process AND has probably been done many times before?. In the mind of those who believe it’s all about watching indifferently all sorts of atrocities in the name of morbidity and desensitization (so anything inside the computer is bearable) a simple fetish is something to scrutinize, it doesn’t matter if the subject is relevant to their interests, everything has to be seen, heard, tried; Stimuli, no longer has to have a mean or purpose.

A music video station claims it’s the ultimate sign of human decadence, just how many times does it has to be said that humans are nothing but animals?, there’s no increase or decrease, only a constant, and just really, humans have been savouring each others’ waste for ages, the images, they do nothing.

Best game ever

3 Ene

And so it happened, a TV commercial aimed at little girls. The brand?, Mattel on their Barbie division, the product?, a virtual pet life program, the goal?, give girls “tips on how to get the life they have always wanted and be popular”.

How exactly did it became a standard for a kid having the chance to change her hair colour?, since when have kids aspired to popularity?, friendship is not mentioned, the girl has to become a distant unattainable product, a collector of praises, desires and attempts to get close to her and this game only makes everything easier because gone will be the years of struggle, there’s everything wrong with how things are now and everything right with how they could be.

I’m guessing a seven year old suddenly wakes up to find her life is utter… waste and decides it’s time to get the game I already forgot the name of, because if this life isn’t worth living, at least there’s an alternative, the perpetualy charming world of make-up, parties and beauty tips that do wonders in distracting from the ephemerality of the world, nothing could make this a better deal, not even including a second hand book on self-improvement for these future teenage consumers of plastic surgery.

The next game is even better, it’s basically a marvellous and revolutionary way to teach kids how to draw or do small crafts, the electronic board gets connected to the TV or computer and it has a choice for colouring figures and landscapes like the ones of animals in the jungle, it comes with a choice of around 8 colours for this and, it also has the option of “free drawing”, basically the little one can draw a little sun with the plastic pen and can later add the design to a bunch of other things, like crowns and flower shapes already included in the game, but that’s not the best part, the kid can actually create a bunch of real works, the board can get connected to a printer!, forget about a box of 100 pencils of different colours, forget the scissors, forget the bits of paper to make things with, put in in the printer, the kid will have a blast!.

Or, if it’s too clever, kids can get a Winnie the Pooh that walks, the kid won’t learn to walk that way and won’t do anything but sit and watch something that a channel with static offers for half the price, but, the illusion on the kids face for the first few seconds of the bear walking will be priceless.

Let’s get together and feel alright!

5 Dic

The world is being informed that one day, in 40 years, we humans will be able to marry robots!. There are almost six and a half billion people in this world but when it comes to relationships nothing beats a nice little plastic figure that can remember your name and will never have a different opinion to yours.
A genius dedicated to science announced that instead of using his advanced intelligence for say, a cure for cancer he wants people to be able to experience feelings for objects as intelligent as him. Of all the news appearing in the past month this is the most important because it represents a breakthrough and the biggest intangible improvement human race could dream of right now.
WWIII?, irrelevant!.

Continuing with important matters and bright minds, whose idea was it to make an addict record a song that goes “They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no”?. Was the point the big freedom only a substance dependency can give?, the romantic image of self-destruction?, the passion behind a person about to die?, because if it’s the latter then somebody should make the new “Idol” franchise with those suffering a terminal illness.

It would be healthier if it only were a fascination with death and not trying to erase all traces of anything human.

Bitch please

12 Nov

The King of Spain (XV century much?) told Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez “Why don’t you shut up” during the summit of leaders from Latin America, Spain and Portugal.

This was the King’s reply to a speech in which Hugo Chavez called former prime minister (of Spain) “fascist” and we all know that when a prime minister decides to bomb a country’s civilians and then invade it to steal their natural resources for years they shouldn’t be called anything but “world saviours”. So maybe Chavez should have had bowed down to the King, that old man descends directly from God as we all know, nobody elected him but this world is so full of democracy it doesn’t matter, the King should be respected, just like Aznar, Bush and Blair because they are humans, not under-animals as Chavez wants us to believe.

Nicaragua’s president also showed problems bowing down to Spain’s philanthropic royalty, what’s more, he accused Aznar and the King of plotting against left-wing governments in Latin America and getting involved in the USA coup d’état against Hugo Chavez during 2003.

Aznar’s “democracy tour” (when he was still prime minister) had no other interest than to teach people in those ignorant countries full of oil that only right-wing political parties were qualified to guarantee a good economy and stability.

Can be blame the Spaniards for wanting to exploit LA countries?, with no gold, diamond mines, oil, gas or even a good location, where are they supposed to find the economic means to be a first world country?, if their own companies earn more money overseas, what’s a XXI Century King meant to do???, become a physiocrat?, a worker?, that’s so outdated!, establishing their monopolies in poor countries is the road to liberalism and freedom, no indian full of communist ideas should get in the way of progress.

Chavez is a dictator waiting to happen but, he called Bush “devil”, he called Fox “the emporium’s puppy”, he called snakes “more human than fascists” and now I can’t wait to see what will be the spaniard’s king new name.
Long live Chavez!.