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Imma mothafuckin’ monstah!

19 Dic

Tenemos un problema. La música comercial se hace cada vez más pobre y atolondrada.

Hubo una época (y tal vez regrese, cuando vuelvan a caer las  ventas de discos) en que la música comercial podía llegar a ser tan buena como la música real, un tiempo en el que igual se tocaba T.A.T.U. con The Rasmus, o, décadas antes Bowie buscaba plagiar la fama colaborar con músicos vanguardistas como NIN y NWA.

 

Y ahora, ¿qué se escucha todo el día?, Rhianna tratando de romper el record de la canción más larga de la historia, house y tecno ideales para música de fondo de comercial de carros, rock que ya ni a emo llega, todos acompañados de videos promocionales que parecen los avances de una película porno inspirada en Lady Gaga.

 

Es el caso de una cosa llamada “Welcome to St. Tropez” que me estoy enterando es una canción muy famosa, y aunque la letra es como del niño gordito de 12 años que se siente gangsta posando con su celular en el baño haciendo una seña de pandillero al espejo (“mucho dinero en el banco, carros, mujeres, no hay nada aquí que el dinero no pueda comprar, bienvenidos a St. Tropez”) el éxito está probablemente en que todo el producto fue diseñado como anuncio de tarjeta de crédito: Ilusiones a las que cualquier mortal puede acceder, siempre y cuando invierta su dinero en nosotros.

Después de todo no se necesita tener talento alguno: No hay que cantar; no hay que tocar ningún instrumento; no es necesario componer, solamente escribir; y ni siquiera es un requisito ser alto, guapo o tener cabello.

Bienvenidos sean todos al reino de los crédulos, porque la vida es perder la conciencia cada fin de semana para olvidar que sólo se es una fuerza laboral reemplazable (o un pazguato) el resto del tiempo.

 

Yo hubiera pensado que un género como el Hardstyle se salvaría de estas atrocidades, especialmente porque se parte del supuesto que este tipo de música gusta de integrar letras extremadamente escapistas a favor de las drogas sintéticas, pero, el problema es que cuando se intenta algo distinto no salen joyas de la idiotez humana disfrazadas de “ironía”, si no miserias como: “Primero lo primero, me voy a comer tu cerebro, porque eso es lo que un chingado monstruo haría”, ¿eh?, ¿”lo que un chingado monstruo haría”?, ¿ese es todo el nivel de razonamiento que tiene un monstruo? En la madre… osea que ya no podemos esperar cuervos mensajeros de las almas del inframundo, ni pueblos que continúan iluminando el camino hacia ellos al seguir ardiendo en los pecados que no se han perdonado…

 

Es que, ¿sólo a la monstruosidad banal aspiramos?

Gaddafi, Galliano, and Abortion

2 Mar

It’s one of those things that just happen, somebody becomes a mass murderer and it’s not headline news until 40 years later.

 

Justin Bieber Appeared on Rolling Stone

It’s already a bit strange that magazines use underage kids as front covers, even if (or exactly because…) he’s an entertainer, Who are the only people who could care?

Most people share the same points of view, especially if they are from the same social group and have a similar background, and this is probably even more accurate for teenagers.

But certain topics are guaranteed to cause a polemic no matter what the other person says, and that usually happens with a subject as tragic and horrible as rape.

It was that easy:  Ask a 16 year old BOY if he’s pro-choice or pro-life, sit back and enjoy the show.

 

Galliano Got Fired

At this point it’s completely irrelevant if people no longer have any privacy to enjoy their racism, sexism or be a total idiot in general, the situation is: it’s been a while since I last heard any kind of ‘celebrity’ say anything to the effect of ‘Free Palestine’.

Condemning Nazism is expected, the other side of the story must be terrorist propaganda, Why would nobody care that so many innocent civilians are getting killed every day?

If it was true somebody would be doing something about it, but on Oscar’s night a few actresses decided not to wear Dior dresses;  they did what they had to in order to make the world a better place.

 

Gaddafi Is Still There

Germany and Austria have decided to stop giving money to ‘The Colonel’, and I have to say it was quite sudden and unexpected. The guy has been doing what he pleases with Libya since years before I was even born, I wonder if they decided to make a change out of fear of being condemned by Libyans via twitter.

That was probably the only thing that made the USA support Egyptians anyway.

Can’t unsee

23 Jun

Her camera screamed “I’m insecure because I have no discernible talent” and it was nothing but the truth.
She was another person who sold herself as an artist to people who couldn’t understand art but were willing to pay to pretend they did.

Her work consisted in taking photos during art exhibitions (at galleries of course), and I was able to spot one single decent photo, the rest were about anything any person could see at any day during any visit. Trivial, ordinary.

The comment of one art gallery owner (or critic, can’t remember) when glancing through this woman’s work revealed the obvious: “Oh look, there’s XYZ, and there’s also a photo of ZYX”.

Gabriele Heidecker likes to promote her photos as “works of art themselves” because it’s obvious that if she didn’t try so hard to create a hype nobody would give a DeviantArt’s Favorite to her pictures.

Lena on Love

29 May

Tonight is the Eurovision song contest and I feel compelled to write something about this because of a babble that got stuck in my head.

Germany’s contestant is a young girl named Lena and she is said to sing a song about love.

The lyrics of the song are in english, consist of the word “love”, and a few statements regarding the issue; like the person’s incapability to remain quiet about this to her love or be without the other person’s love, it even goes as far as saying the one in love did her hair as a consequence of her feelings.

Lena recites those feelings in the most indifferent and detached matter, the words are not much to work with but it doesn’t help that her speaking tone also happens to be her singing tone. Her behaviour is so mechanic that during the acoustic performance of the song her tense wobbling made her voice sound like she was being repeatedly hit on the back.

From what I heard the contest is made out of simple acts for friendly costumers (exceptions?, Lordi perhaps?), but it’s not exempt of a good amount of incredibly talented people with great voices and some decent compositions.
So it’s difficult to think of a reason why somebody thought Lena was “fresh” just because she’s not old, even Miley Cyrus has more passion talking about the Bible through her twitter than this Miranda Cosgrove look-alike.

Girl is as dead as the mainstream music industry.

Why Megavideo?, Why?!

6 Abr

When I registered to Megavideo I wasn’t even thinking about the so-called “rewards”, I just wanted to upload copyrighted material so I could convert it to an flv file. I wasn’t selling it and those videos were old and hard to find but GoogleVideo (which is supposed to be disappearing soon) kept blocking them and rapidshare wasn’t made for that purpose so MegaUpload seemed the best option, until…

As I had finished uploading 5 videos I kept receiving a “This video is currently being converted.” notice, I decided to wait 24hrs and check again to see if maybe the place had blocked them too, but it hadn’t, after a few hours the videos were available and even a few dozens of people had watched them, but they didn’t appear under my username so I stared to wonder if I had done something wrong.

Turns out I had done everything just the way MegaVideo wanted because they are known for keeping videos users upload, they don’t give others any kind of credit (I couldn’t even add them as favourites) so they don’t have to pay for “views” in case the person has or gets a premium account.

So, what know?, I couldn’t care less if they want to keep the copyrighted work, in fact I wanted to keep those videos alive so other people could share/download/watch them and I guess I needed a place which lacked morals for something like that.
I’m not going to say that ridiculous or unfair laws end up creating real illegal acts but I can definitely say that I still don’t see why big companies were allowed to sell VHS recorders to TV owners.

The nigga

8 Dic

I honestly believe isolated words can’t hurt people, I have been claiming for years that racism wouldn’t exist if those meaning to get offended would turn the other cheek (as in, “give it to me as my equal, bitch”) or if any reaction wasn’t a response to getting their pride hurt.

And then comes Nigga, a Panamanian reggeton singer. When I began hearing in all those programs from Latin America things like “Yeah, Nigga is a good singer, Nigga is gaining success, Nigga will be giving concerts, The audience went mad during Nigga’s gig last night” I was BLOODY offended, I couldn’t believe they were ignorant about what “Nigga” meant and where it came from, I was disgusted that the singer (a mulatto) had used a derogatory term as his stage name, I don’t remember if I did call at least one TV Station to complain about this blatant promotion of racism against blacks (which are quite rare in most of Latin America) but I do remember I had the strong intention of at least sending some e-mails expressing how using a shocking word (albeit, in a different language) to get famous was really too much.

But one day I forgot about it. Months passed, Nigga became one of the biggest selling artists of the year 2008 with a song that just repeated over and over “Te quiero baby woooh, woooh”, and soon after some other hits followed, he was crowned king of the “Romantic Style”.

The stupid song was everywhere, from TV Series, soap operas, game shows and of course adverts as well as people’s mobile phones.

And so Nigga was invited to a tv show where he would perform different kinds of music (and dances) during a few weeks, he wasn’t the only one of course, it was a contest that included some other famous pop figures.

His name was being pronounces by all kinds of people:”Nigga fainted after the show, Nigga went to the hospital, Nigga might not finish the show, Nigga is at risk of leaving the show so everybody call now to give money, Nigga is back, please welcome Nigga, How are you Nigga?, Nigga, we didn’t like your performance, If people keep giving money Nigga might win, Up next an exclusive interview with Nigga”.

WTF?!, why is no one else doing this?, we begin with words and after one or two generations racism would be gone for good.

It’s controversial to say the least.

Obama and the skin colour

5 Nov

“The first black President of the United States of America”, that’s today’s favourite headline all over the world.

Obama’s mother was of white race, why isn’t he consider white?, why doesn’t he considers himself a mulatto?.
There seems to be plenty wrong with analyzing race “too much” but somehow nothing wrong with using race to make empowering statements.

It must’ve been very nice to feel a black person was finally going to have an enormous power in a nation that always saw blacks as nothing more than slaves, and I’m sure it’s a lot easier to identify oneself with a minority race if the skin colour is not exactly like the one of the majority, but even then, Why make race such a big issue in a country built on and by immigrants?.

Obama deserved to win, he has a more humane plan to rescue his country, whether he succeeds or not is a different story. The bad news about the triumph of all those who wanted something more than a “good old traditional white guy” is that if the USA never recovers from their severe economic, social and military crisis then nothing but Obama’s appearance will be blamed.

It would have been better if Obama had won to be just another president, but at least a great amount of people in that country proved to be less dumb than those in nations where racism was sowed and it’s growing at a worrying peace.
“Millions of Americans are not idiots”, that is the day I never thought I would see.

Apartments

19 Jul

I have absolutely no idea what TIME magazine represents in terms of today's world's history, I only know it's sold as an advanced source of information, a condensed manual of important matters in different subjects, a monthly encyclopaedia, an icon, a report of essential subjects of the place with live in.

And so there was an article about the second of the Chan series, I didn't read it, I don't think I could care about what another person says of the place half of the internet users all over the world know about (and the other just found out).
It stroke me as an attempt to tell their readers they are “moving on with the times”, The Wall Street Journal wrote about the same topic that same week, if the site is “edgy” then talking about it must make the person edgy too, breaking into a place full of never-seens because something that is the rage amongst teens has to be revolutionary.

They have dead-animals fetish, scary stories (“my computer shut down by itself you guys”), kiddy-porn, racism, hentai, the corruption of the lol and a bunch of other jokes that were supposed to be funny because nobody else outside the forums had heard them, there were many threads I wish I could have never seen, one in particular in which the faces of girls were posted before a “crime image” of their corpses, sometimes mutilated, often raped; Was it shocking?, of course it wasn't, as a person who grew up seeing the “¡Alarma!” on every damned newsstand I had unfortunately glanced over much worse, yes the Chan channel was only an online politically-incorrect tabloid.

But The Wall Street Journal didn't see it that way, to them the forum was a “meme machine”, “cock in eye-socket” is the ultimate source of amusement (yeah, they didn't mention that part). Their jokes take over the internet pretty much like any TV or film catchphrase spreads around, there isn't a real difference here, traffic, target audience, IQ, nationality, they´re willing to try anything in order to avoid boredom.

Even advertisement catalogs like Maxim studied the phenomena behind the Chan vs Scientology, there really is something spectacular about a small crowd of obese kids wearing pop-culture clothes and masks to laugh at an obvious target.

I have always considered inaccurate to say the internet is not “real life” and as I have mentioned before everything in this world does belong and exists, but as decades pass the non-physical ways of communication (except letters) seem to keep trying to replace reality, IRC weddings were fun, an adult watching anime for 22 hrs non-stop in order to write a review of some “awesome new series” is a more advanced way of generating a sense of life through fantasy.

If it isn´t happening it can´t be wrong or illegal, just an undefined space that becomes better than anything that could exist after the whole world takes part in it.

This is what it sounds like, when hard drives die

2 Jun

A cyclic or clicking sound, better back up everything stored there or be ready to pay huge amounts of money to try and have it recovered.

It's already a regular for Sunday nights that an interesting film begins on TV when it's too late for me to watch it but sometimes the film looks interesting and I can't help myself.

The Village (contains spoilers)
I heard it was a horror movie, I kept watching until we viewers were informed there was no such thing as a monster and the people living there weren't in real danger, most had been lied to as a way to live in a quiet and friendly community.
A group of adults who had suffered the loss of a loved ones to violent acts generally attributed to people living in big cities decided to isolate themselves in a small village a la 1800, it was a brilliant idea except all the ones being born in it were completely ignorant to the plot, since an early age they were taught in schools that what they saw was their only reality and if they didn't like it they couldn't leave because there were monsters surrounding them.
In the end one of the residents gets severely wounded after being attacked by one of his friends due to jealousy, the female in dispute is sent to get some medicine across the woods into the nearest town, they sent her because she was blind thus making it more difficult for her to be prone to stay in the nearest city after being told by her very own father there was no such thing as woods' monsters.
The whole story is absurdly dumb, thinking that a person is better off believing they can die at any moment to the hands of some strange creatures than living inside a city is not even challenging, the worse part is that after the film is over and the disappointment gets mixed with disgust the director was heard saying the whole thing was meant to criticise governments that use fear to control people, too bad the film never even hints at it, it ends with the bride returning with some basic medicine for her future husband and lots of images of an idyllic place that gives people the chance to live from their everyday work.
Without a doubt this is the worse movie that has ever been made.

American Psycho (now with spoilers)
For years I heard a lot about the book and the film that was made based on it. I started looking for a film made in the 80's (after seeing some scenes during the 90's) and had to settle for the less than a decade old version, there was no other.
It's still unknown to me why so many people would consider a serial killer their idol or why would his murders be remotely funny, I thought the scenes were ridiculous, that the amount of detachment this guy showed towards the rest of humans was normal, so, are we all serial killers?, maybe just potential, which is why I don't know why there's people out there pushing their limits to get themselves in a complete psychotic mode.
The barriers between fiction and reality are quite well defined but that doesn't stop even the most incredible scenarios from happening, our world is big and globalized, anything is possible so this is the story that we have read in the newspaper more than once, why dwell on it?.
Some of the dialogues are extremely well made but never hilarius, my shock wasn't hearing them, it is seeing them written ad-nauseum by 19 year olds who like to think there's a brilliance to every detail put into the story. I saw nothing more than a mad guy living in a sick society that accepts and admires him.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (spoilers for the first 15 minutes given)
“Inspired on a true story”, that line's most accurate meaning is that if there is a cat on screen a real cat might have be used and not a cow.
There is not a single truth in the whole exorcism, the scenes move back and forth to the trial of a priest accused of murder to the last days of the victim, it's supposed to be accurate and believable, it's supposed to make believers out of sceptics and it ends up being just like any other movie. Friday the 13th could be closer to reality than what we're shown and if that wasn't enough the timing and tension are a complete mess, I had to stop watching after only a few minutes and ended up reading an online review on it instead.

Chewing the bottle

14 May

Jamie Lynn Spears was seen weeks after her 17th birthday wearing some lovely yellow platform shoes. She's five (six?) months pregnant and she loves to drive around dressed like she's a 30 year old mother of 8 who lives in a trailer park.

I believe the first of this kind was Christina Aguilera, who posed during her pregnancy for some photos wearing an orange tan and red lipstick; The platinum hair gave her a lovely bukkake-queen-did-something-wrong-but-didn't-notice-until-nine-months-later look, so, what the hell?.

I cannot criticize women for their sense of style or how they enjoy wearing see-through clothes when there's some fetus growing inside their belly, if they want to make preggo porn that's fine too, what shocked me initially is why a person who doesn't need money wants to expose her milk filled breasts to the world, I know some girls can't live a few months without attention, but it seems this is more related to the word “empowering”.

Jamie is a teenager who feels ready to live the next 2 years of her life as if they were 40, fine, but Christina is a 30-something married woman who is sending a message that maternity doesn't take away her “Dirty” personality, she's still a super hot woman and rejecting that side of herself due to motherhood would be like giving up the only thing that makes her modern (different to our grandmothers), she's young and has nothing to be ashamed of, she's in control, sure her vagina was photographed and printed by tabloids everywhere but that was her “contemporary woman very much in charge” decision.

It's a step more in favour of maternity being a minor issue that can easily be sorted with day-care, a grandmother or a nanny, working as a female cook is awesome, cooking for a kid is despicable, being a teacher is honorable, raising a kid is a waste of time, getting a 12 hour job in a factory is admirable, giving more than two hours a day to a child is the perfect way to underestimate the ability of a woman, and if it was the dad?, oh!, single dads are so amazing!.

When there's no real personality, giving up any stereotype is the same as committing suicide.